Inspired by old-school bargain hosting pages: bold claims, bright colors, tiny prices, and maximal confidence.
| Package | Specs | Price |
|---|---|---|
|
Goat VPS
Starter village-grade cloud energy
|
- 128 MB RAM - 1 vCPU "Turbo" core - 2 GB SSD disk - 20 GB transfer - Linux or "Classic Mode" |
$3.90 / month
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|
|
Baobab VPS
Serious mission-critical meme workloads
|
- 512 MB RAM - 2 vCPU cores - 10 GB SSD disk - 80 GB transfer - Free control panel login |
$8.50 / month
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|
|
Savanna Dedicated Mini
For maximum uptime optimism
|
- 2 GB RAM - 2 dedicated cores - 40 GB SSD - 250 GB transfer - Priority "we are checking" support |
$19.90 / month
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|
*Parody claim. This page is a satirical tribute to early-2000s budget hosting aesthetics, not a real hosting storefront.